The picture below (right) was taken a few years ago. Sitting from the left were my uncle and auntie. I was kneeling in front of my dad and mum. In the middle was my grandmother whom I missed so much. She used to live with us. She passed away on 14th of April 2000; exactly 2 weeks after my sister got married. That was one of the most devastating moments in my life.

I'm sure each one of us ever wished they could turn back the time for all sorts of reasons - either to avoid making that mistake or to make something right. As for me, one of those times would be the year 2000.

Before departing to England in 1997, my granny had been healthy except for her usual joint pains. You see, my granny had been living with us even before my sister and I were born. She was the one who took care of us whenever our parents were working. Our knowledge of reciting Al Qur'an was largely due to her diligence in teaching us.

While I was in the UK, my mother never told me that granny sometimes fell grievously ill (due to her weak heart). She was even bed-ridden a few times. I only came back from England on December 1999, about 5 months after my graduation, not fully knowing the seriousness of this matter. I remember the first words that she uttered when I arrived home were "It's like we have promised each other that we shall see each other again. There were times when I felt my time had come but maybe God wanted to grant that promise."

My sister got married on 01 April 2000. Miraculously, she got better at that time. Really better that she could climb the stairs up and down, talked to guests and stood for a long period of time, sometimes without holding her cane in her hand.

Just days after the wedding, her health was failing again and it was one of the worse. My sis was about to go back to Kuala Lumpur (KL) with my brother in law. After 4 months, I still hadn't got a job. So, despite my granny's current condition, I decided to follow my sis to KL so that should there be an interview, it would be easy for me to attend it.

On the morning that I left, I hugged her and kissed her on both cheeks. What really surprised me was she showed no emotion whatsoever. She didn't hug back, didn't return my kiss or said anything. She just sat there on the bed, staring blankly ahead. Reluctantly I left the room. I later found out from sis that granny also showed her the same (no) emotion.

Two weeks after the wedding (Friday, 14 April 2000), we in KL received the bad news - granny had passed away. My mum and a relative was by her side at that time. It was one of the saddest news I ever received.

Her words when she greeted me after I reached home a few months ago rang to my ears. She was willing to hold on just a little bit longer so that she could see me again. But I on the other hand, failed to wait on her and left her behind when she was unwell (and maybe when she needed me the most). Maybe that was the reason I was still jobless at that time. It was a blessing in disguise that I failed to realise. I should've been there when she was dying, so that she could return my kiss when I asked forgiveness from her. Until now, I really beat myself up over this matter. I felt I had disappointed her, failed her.

I just learned the other day that only the selected ones would know their time on earth was almost up. And I would not be surprised or even doubt it if granny was one of those lucky ones. Maybe, that was the reason granny showed no emotion that day. Maybe, that was why she had enough strength during the wedding. She knew she was leaving us...

Granny, when all plans go well, I would be getting married soon... You had witnessed all your four grandchildren's weddings except your final grandson, ME! If only you could be there, I miss you granny....

My sister has to two children; Fatina Madeeha (born 03/01/2001) and Fathiah Hannah (born 10/07/2004). Madeeha is one of the most young quick-learners I've ever seen. She just quickly absorbs almost everything that adults teach her. As for Fathiah, her rather chubby and cute look with very sweet smile make you wish there were a figurine doll out there just like her, so that you could pinch and kissed 'her' cheeks and hugged 'her' real tight. Hehe...

I graduated from the University of Manchester in Engineering (one of the top 10 universities in the UK). Ever since I was 15, I had set my target to go to the UK to receive my education and gain new experiences.

Last 20 March 2005, I got engaged with the love of my life. Her name is Nor Hariza Eisa a.k.a. Ija. She is a doctor and currently works in Tangkak. When plans go well, our proposed wedding date is some time in January or February 2006. I'll keep you updated with our journey of life together, Insha' Allah. Also, you can read more about us in my blog page (Kindly email me if you need the blog address and put 'your blog address' as the email subject, thanx).

Our pet cat is called Luke Skywalker a.k.a Sky (picture). He is the cutest, most adorable and rather quiet cat alive! My sister bought him back when she was studying in the U.S. He weighs 8kg and increasing. At times, when he needs humans' affection, he would blink his eyes just like us (I mean how often do you see that in a cat?). Also, Sky is the only cat that I know of, who would drink from his pot while lying down on the floor. Talk about a lazy fat cat huh? We used to have another cat which is Coco Ashley, a Persian cat. But my brother in law gave her away to another family.
Click here to view more photos of me and my family.

Things that I enjoy doing the most are reading, watching movies, listening to music, traveling and exercising at the gym (recently picked this hobby). I also enjoy reading horror and fantasy novels. My favourite TV shows are Friends, The Simpsons, CSI, Alias, Lost and The Apprentice. For movies, I watch all types of movies but enjoy the most of it is a scary movie (horror, gore, serial killer or teen slasher). Some of my favourite movies of all time are Poltergeist, Spider-Man, Harry Potter, Alien(s), Silence of the Lambs, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Speed, Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Titanic, The Sixth Sense, Scream Trilogy, Donnie Darko, Se7en, The Matrix, Shrek, The Incredibles, Robots and many others (the lists are endless). For music, I have many years of CD collections. Some of them includes Garbage, The Corrs, Maroon 5, Yellowcard, Our Lady Peace, Keane, Dido, Kelly Clarkson, Madonna and cool Soundtracks (just to name a few).

Check out some of these cool sites;

My Blog Page My blog page. Explore my insights on the many things in life. Check it out and comments on my posts (if you like). Email me if you need the blog address. Kindly put 'your blog address' as the email subject. TQ.	The Simpsons Are you The Simpsons fans? Well, I am very much. They are just plain hilarious. Bart! You're the man!
CSI CSI is arguably the best series that ever hit our TV screens. If you don't get enough of them, then check the website.	The Corrs The Corrs continues to break the chart with their beautiful songs. The strong Irish music influence, is their signature.
B&W Speakers The forefront in loudspeakers technology. Its unique designs capture the eyes of many, while they produce the sound that is amazing to our ears.	Arcam Award winning hi-fi manufacturer. Their sleek CD player is really unique with its round buttons instead of the usual square ones.
Wallpapers and Screensaver Plenty of beautiful nature and travel wallpapers to download (among others). Plus, you can also customize the images to be your screensaver.	Education UK Planning to further study to UK. Then, this site can be a good source for you to plan before realising the plan.
Bagel & Cream My sister's blog page, talking about her (missed) bagels and other stuffs.	Spider-Man Howdy spidey? Spider-man sets the new standard for comics-to-movies adaptation. Quite a successful premise, this one.
Maroon 5 An amazing band with amazing songs. Consists of five talented musicians, they have made a mark in the music industry.	Movie Mistakes Catch a movie lately? Read up some of the movie glitches that you may be (un)aware of.
Men's Health Learn all the right facts about health, sex and lifestyle. Although catered for men, women could learn something from this site too.	Lonely Planet The world is not a lonely place. Let's discover the 4 corners of the world, and start planning your travel from now on, if you must.

I am sure most of you at some point, have travelled to other places, whether they are within your own country or to foreign countries. After my graduation in 1999, I took the chance (and my wallet out) to broaden my horizon to the West of Europe. I got the opportunity to do that with my family members and some close friends. The countries that I covered with my family apart from England itself, were Scotland and Paris. Other countries were explored during my backpacking with two friends, Ana and Asnizan (As). We started off our journey early on October. The three of us were together for two weeks. But due to some circumstances, they had to go back to England. But I did go on for another two weeks by myself around Switzerland, Belgium, and the Scandinavian countries. The experiences that we had were something so precious and worth sharing.